"Y"Balanced, Why Balanced, and Balanced?

Wow! I really did it this time.

I challenged my HR team to join me in my next #TR30Days Personal Revolution.  They are familiar with this as we had the pleasure to have Amanda Hite (@sexythinker) at our National HR Meeting this past Spring.  She shared this inspirational video with the attendees and got them interested in its message and the method.

This will be my 3^rd or 4^th iteration, but since we have just completed our Individual Development Plans at the office and are continuing to build the “Ching” of our HR team, I suggested that we take on this next session together.  This is a great time of action that we can focus on personal changes, professional changes, or both.  I was already ahead of the gang (unfair – I know).  I already had my plan of focus…or so I thought.

Then life comes in and hits me over the head.  Three days prior to our kickoff, I have a major personal crisis in my family.  While I won’t share the specifics here, it threw my plan out the window.  I had it all ready that I would work through One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Live.   Now – don’t freak out, there is no hidden meaning behind this.  I have not been given any reason to think that I really only have one month to live.  But the idea of the “power behind making every day count” had a certain appeal to me.

So, I had this plan, I knew what the next 30 days of my life were going to look like, I had a resource, and I had a format to communicate it….then all hell breaks loose.  How can I possibly focus on no regrets?  How can I even consider finding happiness?  How can I focus on me when something else needs my undivided attention?

After grappling over this, but feeling accountable to my team, I actually have come to the decision – what better time to focus on this!  What if by me going through this “no regrets” process I actually end up doing better with this situation at home?  What if it is the key to help me manage this?  And…what if this is exactly the distraction I need?  (That’s probably the key right there!)

And, here we go.  Check out the #TR30Days video.  Follow the #TR30Days feed on Twitter.  Watch my blog at http://www.ybalanced.com/ .  And join us!  We kick it off October 1^st.  Isn’t there something you can focus on to change for the “good”?

Link: Support #NoKidHungry Next Week

A great blog post by one of my friends @JillMcFarland

Do you remember back in elementary school when some classmates had a lunch card? You may have brought a lunch box or paper bag or maybe paid for school lunch or maybe you too had a lunch card. There were kids that showed up early for school breakfast. I used to wonder why they ate breakfast at school instead of grabbing a pop-tart.  <click on the link to read more>

It’s 6:00am.  Taylor Swift’s “You Should’ve Said No” (my current ring-tone on my iPhone) is running the Sand Man away from my dreams.  I am trying to convince myself that I must have set my alarm clock wrong, because it can’t POSSIBLY be time to get up yet.  I reach to my right and with amazing precision am able to hit the snooze alert without opening my eyes or awaking my metabolism by burning too many calories.  I stuff the loved and hated (at least at that moment) phone under my pillow and try to get the most amount of sleep out of those next few precious minutes before Taylor interrupts me again.

On any given morning I can go through this cycle numerous times until I have managed to cut out every extra step in my morning routine in my head.  Yes, I can rock the ponytail today – I don’t have a meeting or class going on.  Yes, I can skip shaving my legs and wear pants today.  I’ll skip making my smoothie this am and just grab two Buddy Fruits for breakfast.  (If you haven’t discovered these miracle foods – you must!)  I remember having a Garfield sleep shirt when I was about 12 that said “I don’t do mornings”.  Unfortunately to this day, Garfield still speaks the truth.

But even through all that negotiating with myself, I still feel the pull of my addiction.  I remember growing up and hearing my Dad’s alarm clock going off in his room each workday morning.  I eventually became old enough to realize that the reason it goes off more than once a morning is because of that amazing snooze button.  (See, I learned the benefits of this option long ago!)  Of course, the alarm that I would hear was not near as pleasant as Taylor (or any other melodic noise); it was the nails on a chalkboard type buzzing.  To this day when I hear that noise, I still get a sinking feeling in my stomach.  But, see, my father also had an addiction.  Once that horrible noise would sound each morning, I would also get a whiff of cigarette smoke.  (No, this is not a cigarette bashing post)  I understood that for my father to get moving he would turn to cigarettes and would set the snooze alarm to go off periodically.  So in between his alarms he would rely on his nicotine fix to start his day.

Now, back to me.  What is my addiction?  Cigarettes?  Thankfully, no.  But much more acceptable and accessible.  Technology.  Even as I make every attempt to not greet the day yet, I am fighting my urge to enter that password into my phone and start the “checking”.  Once I can fight it no longer, I give in, shut Taylor up and get connected.  In the dark (I still haven’t convinced myself to turn the lights on…), I first check email.  I check how my worlds made it through the night.  It’s not just 1 email account either, it is multiple email accounts so I see work stuff, Twitter stuff, Facebook, etc.  Then, because the emails were not enough, I check the Twittersphere.  Who’s up?  What did I miss while I was reading the back of my eyelids?  Did I miss any newsworthy events (because you know I very rarely actually get my news from the TV or that thing called a newspaper)?  I get the pulse of the world then I turn to Facebook.  I check to see who’s chatting about what amongst my circle of friends.  Anybody post a great picture in the last few hours?  Where do I want to chime in?

All this…without caffeine!  Don’t worry, the caffeine comes later in the form of a bubbly liquid over ice.  No, I am not a coffee person (I would feel so much more sophisticated if I was), so depending on my current wellness kick it may be a Diet Coke, Mt. Dew, or on my good days – good ‘ole iced tea.  But, I wonder….is my addiction any worse than my father’s?  One could argue health dangers of smoking, but others could argue health dangers of the stress connected to technology.  Is the pull for my iPhone any less than the pull for my father’s nicotine?  An addiction may be an addiction no matter the form.  The difference is hold that it has on you.

So, that’s it.  Now, please excuse me as I go grab my phone!

Recently I focused my #TR30Days challenge on time with my daughter.  I called it my Mini-Me 30 Day Blessing.  I wanted to spend some focused time on her.  All too often I give what’s “left” of me (as I know many parents do).  My daughter in particular is about to start her freshman year of high school and I know how important these next 4 years are going to be for her (and me). 

What was so refreshing was that she was completely open to it.  She enjoyed me spending the time with her and showing her about being a strong, beautiful woman.  I think a lot of the success was due to the fact that I wasn’t “preaching” to her, I was showing her where to go for information, and telling her some of my “secrets”. 

Throught the process, it was interesting for me to realize that I was learning along with her.  I actually felt like doing something right as a parent with how we raised her, who we exposed her to, and what we taught her.  These are the highlights of MY learnings from her.

• Our kids are tougher than we think.



She had to experience what happens when a wild animal threatens the safety of the horses and riders.  When she told me what happened, I started to get upset that she was put in that situation.  But as she continued to tell me the story she said that she understood what had to be done.  She didn’t enjoy it, had to step away to shed a few tears and collect herself, but knew it was the best thing for everyone involved.

Where did she learn this? Where did she learn to step away to collect herself so others wouldn’t get upset? AMAZING!

• Our kids have some real world skills.

 I had conversations with several adults that she interacted with this summer and the one thing that kept coming up was her “people skills”.  I was told that she really knows and understands how to relate to all ages and how to influence and lead them.

“People Skills”? From a 14 year old???  WOW!

• Our kids can have a positive attitude even through disappointments.

My daughter had a few disappointments this summer (broke my heart).  Things she worked so hard for and wanted so badly just were not happening for her.  While she did shed a few tears (with us) she also sought to understand.  She asked questions about what she could do differently and committed herself 100%.  This positive attitude and focused effort was recognized and in 2 of the situations she got the outcome she was hoping for. 

 Did she know that her attitude could change the outcome – doubtful?  But that didn’t matter.  She was not willing to dwell on her “bad luck” and just tried harder.

This truly was a 30 Day Blessing.  I think I got so much more out of it than she did.  It made me consider how I would respond in those same situations.  I have to wonder if I would have done it as well as she did.  It has now spurned some new ideas for my next time of Blessing with her (and with my boys).  This is what quality time is all about.  PRICELESS!

It’s a Girl Thing! (Taken with instagram)